The day after tomorrow

I have 2 more days before I know if this IVF cycle has been successful. Or at least one step closer to our goal. So far our history hasn't yielded much hope, only heartbreak and disappointment. Even if the test is positive, doesn't mean that it's a viable pregnancy or that we will end up with our precious baby. The past has taught me that!
I don't have much in the way of symptoms, I've been constipated for about a week and have been eating everything I can think off to releave it which it did this morning; I don't think I've ever been so happy to go to the bathroom (if you know what I mean)!!!
It feels like my heart is beating faster, also I feel more tired than usual but these could all be in my head and I could be making myself feel these.
Never take anything for granted! Trust in the Lord to take care of you.
I want to take a HPT but I'm scared to see what it says. If it's negative, I'd rather live a couple more days with the hope of the possiblity of being pg but at the same time, I want to be prepared for the phone call from my REs office telling me it's BFN. I'm torn... Please God, grant us this one with, make our family complete!

3dp5dt

Here are by 2 embies!!! Grow embies, grow!!!

Today I'm on the 3rd day past my transfer and already I want to know if I"m pg or not. It's driving me crazy, I keep wondering! It's too soon to tell but I don't feel any different. I think because we've been through it so many times, I really want this one to work without any problems.

Out of the 7 normal embryos, we transferred 2 blasts that looked the best. Then the other 5 were kept in culture until day 6 on which day 4 of the 5 looked good enough to freeze. We have 4 snowflakes on ice so we have another shot at this with those embryos. If God allows it, another brother or sister for Adysen and the baby that we will have next. For 3 kids!

Yesterday I went for an acupuncture appointment to aid implantation. It was very relaxing!

Now it's all up to God!

PGD results are in!!!

Our results came in this morning and everything is going great!
Out of 16 fertilized embryos, 13 were PGD's since 3 were untestable. Out of 13 tested we ended up with 7 normal embryos, 4 of which are at the blastocyst stage and 3 are pre blasts.
I'm really happy right now that we have several embryos to choose from! WHOOOHOOOO!!!!
This is going to work, I can feel it! God has answered my prayers!
Hold on..... calm down! It's too soon to get excited, we have just jumped over one hurdle, there are plenty more coming our way. (that's my concience talking!)
Interesting fact, 2 of our abnormal embryos were Down Syndrome babies, our embryologist said that it's rare to see an embryo only being affected by Downs and nothing else. Yet again, we are a rare case for our PGD too! Rare case for IVF failure with no apparent reason too! I don't want to be rare, I want to be regular, get preggo, go to term (or as close as I possibly can) and give birth! That's it! No big deal!!!! Yeah, right, for us it's a huge deal!
ET is scheduled for 1pm, another hurdle coming up!!!!

Sunday Biopsy Day

Today is Sunday and our embryos are getting biopsied. I hope and pray that they are doing ok.
I wonder how many of the 16 embryos made it to today which is day 3, I wonder how many will be hurt by the biopsy and even more importantly I wonder how many embroys we have are abnormal.
I know we only need one good, normal embryos to turn into a baby but right now I'm nervous and anxious to know what's happening to them.
I'm doing well, still having a few little twinges from ER but on the whole I'm well. I've experience some spotting but very light and only when I go to the bathroom.
Tuesday is going to be our big day, not only do we have our ET but we also find out our results from the PGD.

Fertility report

This morning I talked to our embryologist, we have 16 fertilized embryos out of the 24 eggs retreived. I'm happy that we have a high number of embryos at this time but I did feel a little bit sad for the 8 eggs that didn't make it.
I talked to the embryologist about our PGD, she informed me that the embryos that make it till Sunday will be biopsied and on Monday they will run the PGD testing. They are looking for chromosomal abnormalities. This will help our embryologist select the best, normal embryos.
So far I'm excited that things are moving forward and everything is looking good but we're not going to be able to know for sure until Tuesday when the PGD results are in. Tuesday is also my transfer day at 1pm PST. I've scheduled my acupuncturist to meet me at my RE's office at that time too for an extra "feel good" factor.
I'm toying with the idea of transferring 3 embryos. As I've posted here already a couple of times, it's something that is constantly at the back of my mind.
I'm still a little sore in my ovaries but it's definately better than yesterday. I have no bloating or swelling like with my last IVF cycle. My ovaries were so swollen that I looked like I was 5 months pg! It was very painful especially when I had a full bladder on transfer day.
Today is Halloween and I'm going to take my daughter who is 18 months old, trick or treating this afternoon at the mall. She's still is too young to understand what is happening but it's a chance for her to hang out with other kids and have some fun! Also for me to keep busy!

ER update

I'm back home from my ER and everything went really well. We were able to get 24 eggs and now we just wait for them to fertilize. I hope to get at least half of them fertilize and then we will have a lot of embryos to PGD. They PGD on day 3 and we don't get the results until just before transfer on day 5. I pray that we get some really great, normal embryos.
The thing with us is that every cycle we end up with a high number of eggs which result in a high number of embryos however so far we haven't been able to successfully complete a pregnancy and only one IVF turned out to be a baby. Not very good results to speak of. The embryos look good under microscope but then they end up as blighted ovums (twice) and once BFN.
I pray to God to bless us with this one thing that we are so desperately wanting.
Now we just wait for our fertility report. They should call us tomorrow with our numbers. For now, I'm still sore so I'm going to just lay on the couch and watch movies!

Estrodial

my numbers started out at 1299 at 8 days of stims,
2459 two days later and finally 2 days prior to ER 3925.
Progesterone started at 0.4 then went up to 1.3.
Lining was 12mm at 8 days of stims then 2 days prior to ER is 13mm.

Last update before ER

My estrodial yesterday was up to 3925 and progesterone was 1.3. My lining is at 13mm with a tripple pattern.
Last night at 9pm I took my trigger shot so tomorrow I go in for my ER. I'm really excited to be getting underway with the "important stuff"!
I pray and hope that we get at least 15 or so eggs and that at least 10 fertilize so that we have a lot of embryos to choose from after the PGD is complete. Biopsying the embryos for PGD sometimes damages them so I need several good embryos to be able to choose from to transfer.
I don't know if we are going to transfer 2 or 3 this time around! I want to maximize my chances but don't want to jepordize the pregnancy! I have an incompetent cervix and have had 2 losses at 20 weeks so triplets is out of the question. Even twins would be higher risk than usual.
.... things that make you go hhhhmmmmm!

Update

My apt yesterday went well. I'm on day 8 of stims and my lining is at 12 mm with a triple pattern, my estrodial is at 1299 and my progesterone is at 0.4. I have follies all over the scale, some measuring only 6mm and other in the double digits, I think my largest one is 15mm. I know that they have to all be at least 18mm to be considered mature so I have a little bit left to go. Funny thing, my RE counted only 4 follies on one side but 14 on the other!!! It's so weird to have such a large difference from one side to the other. My RE didn't seem to be concerned at all. He said everything looks good and I'm right on track. After all I only need one good embryo to turn into our new baby!
My dosage has stayed the same, I'm running out of Repronex and Gonal F, I have enough for another 2 days. I have an apt scheduled for Monday at 11am so I will see if I need to call Freedom to have them send me more. They are really good about shipping next day!
I'm getting nervous/excited/anxious now about our next step. We have gone through lots of IVF cycles but this one is the first with PGD. I'm nervous about our results, what if all our embryos are abnormal??? That could be a possibility even though less likely since we had gotten pg on our first IVF (which ended in a 2nd tri m/c through no fault of the embryo). I'm also faced with a huge decision, do we transfer 2 or 3 embryos. We've transferred 2 up until now on our fresh cycles, but since this is our last shot, do we up it to 3? What if all 3 implant? I wouldn't be able carry multiples due to an incompetent cervix, would I risk all 3 and go for selective reduction???? I don't believe in abortion, that would be a really hard decision to make. So many questions, so much uncertainty.....
For now, I'm taking one day at a time, jumping one hurdle at a time and letting tomorrow take care of itself, for now at least!

Update

This morning's apt went very well. RE checked my follies and they are growing appropriately. they measure around between 6mm and 9mm. I have about 10 on the right and 7 or 8 on the left. My right side always produces more eggs, the left side is lazy!
My lining looks good too at 6mm right now. I go back for another check up on saturday. The only apt available was at 7.30am, yikes, that means I have to be on the road by 6.45am so I have to get up at 6am at the latest! I'm not a morning person and usually wake up with DD around 7am and that's early enough for me! That's ok, though, it's only one day but then I have to be at work for 8.45am, it's going to be a long day!
My hormone levels came back in the normal range so my doses stay the same, so far 2 amps of Repronex and 150u of Gonal F.
Please GOD make this work for us, afterall it's in your hands!

next apt

Tomorrow I have an apt with my RE in the morning. It's going to be some blood work and ultrasound. I've been on stims now since sunday and I have started getting twinges in my ovaries so I definately think that my follies are developing. We shall see tomorrow how big they're getting, I'm sure not a lot right now since I usually am on stims for 11 to 12 days. Currently I'm taking 2 vials of Repronex and 150ml of Gonal F. My Lupron is down to 5 units.
The Repronex is making my tummy sore, I think it's cos I don't have a lot of fat there, I have a pretty flat stomach so the needle goes all the way to the muscle. My belly looks like a pin cushion right now, I have bruises from taking low dose asprin as part of my regimen!
I'm dreaming of taking home my baby from the hospital after a healthy and uneventful 9 months, but then I immediately get worried that the IVF won't work or if it does work and I have a m/c.....
I will update everyone tomorrow after my apt to let you all know how things are progressing!

we are underway!

Today I went in for my baseline u/s check and everything looks great. RE was able to see at least 10 follies on the right ovary and 7 or 8 on the left one. My lining is right where it should be at 3 mm. My blood work came back in normal range too.
I was given the article that my RE read regarding endometrial biopsy and it states that it doubles the rate of implantation in patients who have mechanical infertility (which means something mechanical is the problem, in our case, my tubes are blocked). In the study group 11 out of 12 conceived! It's believed that the minor injury cause to the endometrium while a biopsy is taken creates a reaction of some kind that in beneficial for implantation. I guess, the endometrium over compensates for the injury which results in thick, sticky lining which is just right for an embryo to implant.
The articles are very incouraging for us, we've been through so many cycles without bringing home a healthy baby, any small improvement gives us hope for success.
My next apt is next week on wednesday. I start stims on sunday. I take Repronex 2 amps and 150 of Gonal F.
I have a really good feeling about this cycle. We are doing everything can to make it a success, with PGD and the biopsies, I know that this time we will success (God willing of course!)

Endometrial Biopsy 1 - check

Yesterday I had my first biopsy, I must admit it was uncomfortable! My RE looked at my ovaries and saw no cysts and said they looked good.
Once the "hook" was in place in my uterus, he started scraping and that was painful, not unbearable but it did feel like major mestrual cramps! Lucky the sample retreaval took only 30 seconds. My sample is going to be sent to the lab and tested for inflammation or abnormalities of the cells. Also for any infections. He did reassure me that if they did find something, it's totally treatable!
I have my second one to look forward to on Tuesday. If it's going to help me get pg, it's worth the pain ten times over!
I've also started my shots of Lupron. I'm now taking a cocktail of drugs every day! ;) Right now I'm taking prenatal vitamins, dexamethosone, BCP until saturday, asprin and doxycyclene.
I've also contacted my acupuncturist that I saw a couple of years ago for treatment. The IVF turned out to be a blighted ovum but that had nothing to do with the acupuncture, it was the embryo so I feel that it does help a lot with IVF or TTC all together.
I prayed before I went into my RE appointment; I prayed that my ovaries were ok and to give me strength and patience. I think God is watching over us during this cycle.
DD would be such a wondeful big sister! She loves playing with other kids and loves babies!

Progesterone in Oil

I have a vial of PIO, 50mg/ml. Unopened and it doesn't expire until 04/29/09. My RE has put me on a different type of Progesterone and I feel bad throwing this away since our meds aren't cheap!
If anyone wants this, they are more than welcome to it; of course, free of charge.
Just email me your mailing address and I'll send it to you.
First come first served!
Kaila

Quiet times

right now it's so quiet in my house! Everyone around me is sleeping, DD is napping but so is DH, the dog and the cat. It's so unusual for it to be so quiet here.
I'm just catching up on posts and messages on line!
So far no updates for me, just continuing to take my BCP, waiting for my biopsy next thursday!

October 1st

Here we are at the start of a new month, a new blank page in our journey through life! Hopefully a month that will bring new hope and us a step closer to achieving our goal.
Right now I'm sitting outside in my back yard, it's a warm fall evening. My DH and DD are in the garden picking tomatoes off the vine. The sound of someone with a chain-saw like machine is coming over the fence and bushes and I can hear the rumble of a plane in the distant sky.
I wonder sometimes, if there is someone somewhere thinking about what I'm thinking. Wondering what tomorrow will bring and praying for a small miracle of their very own.
As DD plays in the dirt and pulls grass out of the ground, I pray to the Lord that she may know the joys of a sibling. She is such a blessing!

Biopsy rescheduled

Today was supposed to be my first biopsy but since I still had my one large cyst on my right ovary, the Dr decided to post pone the biopsy and go with the aspiration of the cyst instead. It wasn't very pleasant, he shot some pain medicine in my cervix and proceded to jabbing me with a needle right through the cyst and drained it all out. I'm to continue taking my BCP for another 11 days to make sure all remnants of the cyst are gone and then I go in for try number 2 of said biopsy.
One of my best friends, had one done and said it was very painful, however she feels pain and discomfort during a pap, which I don't so I hope that it won't be too bad for me. Also she fell pregnant on her first IUI following her biopsy so that is a good sign. We are doing the biopsy because our RE has read articles that suggest a higher rate of implantation following endometrial biopsies. Apparently when done at the right time, it sets of a chemical reaction that incourages implantation.
We shall see what happens but at this rate, we will be pregnant come Xmas!

eve of endometrial biopsy

Tomorrow is day 1, biopsy day 1. I'm a little nervous about the procedure but I know that the whole point of it is to get pg. Also I hope that my cysts are no longer there, that would really throw things up in the air.
It's also the first day of taking my medicines if everything goes well with my apt, then I start on my calendar!
I'm nervous but excited too, God will take care of it for us this time!

Calendar has been received!

So I received my calendar from my dr's office and it's all beginning to hit me that we are going to go through the whole IVF process again. I'm really excited and thinking positive, this one is gonna be it, I know it! The other day I was driving home from work and the sky was over cast, I could see the rays of sun light coming through the clouds and it felt like God was telling me that He will make this allright for us. He will shine a light through the clouds. I smiled!
The 2 main differences in this cycle are I have 2 endometrium biopsies scheduled, one on the 29th and one on October 4th both at 9.30am. There has been studies suggesting that endometrial biopsies can increase the success rates for IVF. I'm not quite sure how but I'm willing to try anything to make this work out. The other is we're planning to do PGD to make sure we are only transferring normal looking embryos. So far we've been transferring 2 blastocysts on our fresh cycles (except for one) but I'm been considering transferring 3 this time. It's a huge risk for us because I have an incompetent cervix that has caused me to loose 2 babies at 20 weeks and being preggo with more than one baby could result in disaster. On the other hand, this is our last try and I NEED it to work. I'm going to have a cerclage anyway if I can make it to that point of 12 wks preggo.
I've also been concerned about the 2 cysts that I have on my ovary. Before the biopsy on the 29th, my RE will do an ultra sound to check to make sure they have gone away, if not he will have to delay my cycle.

Day 1

Today is day one for what will probably be our last IVF cycle. I took my first pill in preparation of our upcoming cycle.